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"I think the first duty of society is justice."
--Alexander Hamilton

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Resolutions: 7 Suggestions for Stupid Criminals

12/21/2013

5 Comments

 
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Some behaviors are so stupid, dangerous, illegal, and/or deadly that they need to be changed immediately. If your bad habits are getting you unwanted attention from police, fire fighters, or EMTs, it may be time to make a resolution. I've provided a few examples.

Resolution: Take public transportation more often.
Behavior: According to trutv.com's crime library blog, one Anderson, California, man knew how important it was to get to court on time, so he moved fast. He stole a car to get to court and appear on a charge of (yep) stealing a car. Police arrested him before he arrived, making him miss his court date. He'll have another opportunity to get it right.

Resolution: Give up smoking.
Behavior: A CCTV Video on Youtube shows an Australian man apparently trying to steal fuel...he was smoking at the time. He ended up setting himself and several cars ablaze. Police arrested a man with burns on the lower half of his body.

Resolution: Diversify investments.
Behavior: Irish police arrested two men after observing them digging up over one million pounds of cash and drying out bundles in a tumble dryer, www.bbc.co.uk.

Resolution: Only play games like follow the leader with friends.
Behavior: In Ohio, a man stole a briefcase and cash from a vehicle, threatened the victim at knifepoint, and then walked away in the snow. Police followed the footprints and made an arrest, www.19actionnews.com.

Resolution: Quit taking selfies and give up social media altogether.
Behavior: A man was so proud of his stash of stolen property that he celebrated by taking selfies and posting them on Instagram. The former felon posed with weapons, jewelry, and cash. Police visited his home and now, Florida station WPBF reports, the Instagram user faces 142 charges.

Resolution: Read signs and follow directions.
Behavior: Gunmen stole a truck in Hidalgo, Mexico. This truck was carrying a special load of cobalt-60, used in chemotherapy, which emits gamma rays that can cause skin burns, radiation sickness, and various cancers, www.worldnews.nbcnews.com. There have been conflicting reports about possible suspects. It now seems that two men are in police custody at the Hidalgo state hospital, suffering from symptoms of radiation sickness, www.rt.com.

Resolution: Get more organized.
Behavior: A 19-year-old in College Station, Texas, lost a key. The teen walked into the police station and asked for help to remove a handcuff from his right hand after he and his roommate had been playing around. The hitch was that the youth had a warrant for criminal mischief and marijuana in his front pocket. Local police removed the handcuff and arrested him, www.theeagle.com.

May everyone have a better and more giving 2014!


Resources:

19actionnews, "Knife-wielding thief busted by footprints in the snow," www.19actionnews.com, December 12, 2013.

BBC News, "Limerick money laundering: Police recover 1m euros in tumble drier," http://www.bbc.co.uk, December 16, 2013.

Ingalls, Chris, "WA firefighters pump jet fuel on fire instead of water," www.kgw.com, December 15, 2013.

Johnson, M. Alex, "Six Released from Mexican hospital but detained in theft of cobalt-60," www.worldnews.nbcnews.com, December 6, 2013.

News.com.au, "Man accidentally sets cars on fire while having a smoke while allegedly stealing petrol, causing $100,000 damage," www.news.com.au, December 9, 2013.

Russian Today, "Mexico police block hospital as radioactive load hijackers are admitted," www.rt.com, December 7, 2013.

Salazar, Andrea, "Man with warrant walks into police station already in handcuffs, authorities say," www.theeagle.com, November 14, 2013.

Van Olson, Cora, "Man stole vehicle to be on time for court date for stealing vehicle," "Man stole vehicle to be on time for court date for stealing vehicle,"www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/, December 19, 2013.

Wise, John P., "Depree Johnson Instabusted after gun-toting selfies lead to 142 charges," www.wpbf.com, December 6, 2013.

5 Comments
Kaye George link
12/30/2013 07:14:59 am

I've read a couple of these. The rest are hilarious! Those people really ARE dumb. Thanks for the entertainment.

Reply
Laura L. Cooper link
12/31/2013 01:13:41 am

Thanks for stopping by. Happy New Year!

Reply
Steve
12/31/2013 01:16:43 am

I've heard of people asking police to unlock handcuffs for them, but not when they have an active warrant. DUMB!!!!

Reply
Bandeu Clairmont
12/31/2013 01:26:34 am

This article is very intriguing. It seems apparent that these folk lack regular lateral orbitofrontal, dorsolateral prefrontal, and amygdala functions.

https://www.google.com/search?q=brain+diagram&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=dOHCUtXeDanOyQHUx4DYDA&sqi=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1440&bih=684#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=IPtlL8CR9hJyVM%3A%3BFOQ7C_endiGvaM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.brainwaves.com%252Fimages%252Fbrain-basic_and_limbic.gif%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.brainwaves.com%252F%3B450%3B317

Reply
Laura L. Cooper link
12/31/2013 01:34:25 am

Brains that don't work right. Well put.

Reply

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    Laura Cooper lives in Nebraska and writes crime fiction and a wide range of short stories from her family farm.

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